by Mianyi Wang, UWCM
February 17th, 2023
Illustration by Adele Ho
boxes built on boxes
boxes of the same cardboard base i built when i was six
six eyes on me as i tremble and stand up
up is the only direction i know
know i did not always fear
fear fourth places and disappearing smiles
smiles of “that kid is going places”
places i was destined to go when i grew up
up is the only solution i’ve known
known curses unknown antidotes
antidotes to my success
success comes at a high cost
cost me nothing though
though my box tips over precariously i will only look up
up is the only place i can afford to go now
now there’s no way back down
down to the box below the ten other boxes
boxes overflowing with trophies yet completely empty
empty dull cardboard
cardboard cut-outs carefully crafted
crafted an illusion that i am always ready to step up
up where even i cannot reach
reach for them and the pile crumples over
over my tipping tower
tower over me, i dare you
you will never match up to my expectations
expectations i have always strained to reach
reached for them my whole life
life built on boxes over boxes on square one
one more box and i’ll be up.
